Some jokes

Wit of Richard Hawley last night:

People say that I'm as soft as a bag o'tits, and this song proves it.

Oh, you're from Rotherham? Gimme six!

After a stonking performance of The Ocean:

Christ! I feel like I've had a shag!

and from uk.rec.cycling:

Bloke in Paris, apparently caught short:

Gendarme: Monsieur, défense de pisser!
Bloke: Mais non, je m'abuse
Gendarme: Pardon monsieur. Vive la sport.